only tonight

today i realized how much i have become part of the problem at work. in my mission to focus only on the work i produce and on my clients, to keep my head down and chug along, i've managed to make a decision that reinforces what i've always said was a problem--favoritism and cliques.

i was asked to invite my account team to a fancy gala-- to fill ten seats-- and in the end, only eight of us confirmed. to fill the remaining seats, i asked my two closest friends at work.

in hindsight, and with the help of another friend, i could have offered the seats to the entire company. i could have done it in a way that didn't exclude people. i should have put more thought into it. instead, i focused on my work and willed this side business of filling seats to be done with as soon as possible. i was complacent.

it hurt someone's feelings. for them, i should have asked more questions.

given the timeframe that i had, i know there was no other way i would have done it. i wish i could say that i would have put more thought into it but i know that my nature wouldn't have allowed it. i did what i was asked to do, i always do.

so only tonight i'll focus on what i could have and should have done. tomorrow, lesson learned, i'll stand by my decision and face the consequences.