faith

mike was promoted this past week. his company literally created a position for him because of the lack of openings in the level above him. he was pretty much at his wits end with his job before the promotion, when his supervisors asked him to have patience. they asked him to wait until the end of their fiscal year to figure things out, that they value the work that he does so they'll take care of him. this is a huge company we're talking about--thousands of employees and he's one person. imagine?

it's hard to have faith when all you have are words, flattering as they are. but he hung on and they rewarded him.

honestly, i've been at my wits end with mine too. i've been wrestling with whether it has been worth it or not. we have both been so devoted to our jobs. for me, so much so that it has taken a priority over more important things like my family and my personal life. i've been there for three and a half years and what do i have to show?

his promotion gives me some hope, not in that i think i'll be getting one too. but that sometimes people do mean what they say. i think about what i have to show after three and a half years. i realize, a lot actually. i've grown up so much in those years and there's more growing to do. this became easier to think about when i put aside the things that frustrate me about my company and my job. it can't be about them..it always has to come back to me, i can only look at what my actions have been and what i've learned.

i have to believe, i really have to have faith because that's all i can do right now. i can't put the onus on them to change the way things happened for me but i can believe them when they tell me that they're doing their best. i want to believe them when they ask me to keep the faith.

that's the one important thing i've learned in all of this-- no one can take my faith, i'm the only one with the capacity to lose it.